20 Best Quotes From The Hangover

A lot of the quotes from The Hangover are still hilarious, even over a decade later. What are the Wolfpack's best lines in the hit comedy movie?

Summary

• "Yeah... That's Not Going To Happen." - Phil. The hilarious opening line sets up the wild comedy and sets the tone for the movie.
• "No, He Was Skiing In Vermont. It Was Just During The War." - Alan. Alan's strange associations and odd glimpses into his life make for unexpected and funny quotes throughout the movie.
• "Check Its Collar Or Something." - Alan. The guys' ill-preparedness for suddenly having custody of a baby is highlighted by Alan's suggestion to check the baby's collar, adding to the comedic chaos.

The Hangover quotes are a big factor in this comedy's lasting legacy. Proving a huge surprise hit when it was released in 2009, The Hangover became one of the highest-grossing comedies and highest-grossing R-rated movies of all time. The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, and Justin Bartha as four guys who go out to Las Vegas for a bachelor party and things take a hilariously disastrous turn when the groomsmen wake up from some hard partying to find the groom missing — and they have no recollection of the night before.

Director Todd Phillips is now known for movies like Joker and its highly anticipated sequel, but there was a time when the director was responsible for numerous R-rated comedies like Old School and Road Trip. However, The Hangover launched the careers of its main cast and was Phillips' biggest hit. Though it has been over a decade since that first movie was released, there are so many hilarious Hangover quotes that still stay with fans all these years later.

Where To Watch The Hangover 1, 2 & 3 Online

20 "Yeah… That's Not Going To Happen."

Phil

The timeline in The Hangover is very important as the three main characters retrace their steps from the previous night to determine what happened to their friend. However, the movie itself plays around with chronology in the beginning as the movie opens close to the end with Phil calling Doug's fiancée Tracy to let her know that they lost Doug. When she reminds him that the wedding starts in a matter of hours, he simply tells her that isn't possible. It is a hilarious way to begin the movie, setting up a wild comedy, and it's one of the most iconic lines of the series.

19 "No, He Was Skiing In Vermont. It Was Just During The War."

Alan

Alan's strange association with the world is what makes for so many of his unexpected quotes. With every situation they find themselves in, he offers yet another odd glimpse into his life that just makes him seem all the more unusual. Even as the seriousness of the situation dawns on him and Alan considers that Doug might be dead, he remembers how upset he was when his grandfather died during World War II. But then he points out it was a skiing accident unrelated to the actual war — it just happened to take place at the same time.

18 "Check Its Collar Or Something."

Alan

There are a lot of bizarre things the guys have to wrap their heads around when they wake up after their night on the town. One of the most startling is finding a baby in the hotel room. The three men are shocked and ill-prepared for suddenly having custody of a small infant. As if to highlight how little they know about taking care of children, they try to determine who this baby belongs to, and Alan suggests they check its collar. Luckily, the baby manages to make it through the debacle unharmed, but this line certainly makes audiences nervous for little "Carlos."

17 "I Tend To Think Of Myself As A One-Man Wolfpack."

Alan

By the time the men arrive in Las Vegas, Alan has already proven himself to be a very strange guy. So when he launches into a toast to start the evening, it is hard not to cringe and laugh at how awkward it is. Despite obviously being a bit of a loner, Alan tries to suggest that he is some sort of rebel who chooses a life of solitude. But his assertion that the other men, including those he has just met, are now part of his "wolfpack" shows how desperate he is for friends.

16 "It's The Weekend, Budnick. I Don't Know You. You Do Not Exist."

Phil

Similar to Phillips, Cooper's movie career has changed considerably since the release of The Hangover. Though he is now a serious actor with multiple Oscar nominations, he is hilarious in the movie as Phil, the "cool guy" of the group who is pushing for a wild bachelor party weekend. Audiences get a glimpse of what kind of guy Phil is when his friends pick him up from his job as a teacher. When one of his students tries to ask him a question, Phil shuts him down hilariously and brutally, showing where his priorities are.

15 "Would You Please Put Some Pants On? I Feel Weird Having To Ask You Twice."

Phil

One of the funniest scenes in the movie is when the men wake up from their wild night and begin to realize the mayhem that transpired. It is the aftermath of an epic and chaotic night that leaves them all shaken. With a tiger in the bathroom and Stu missing a tooth, the fact that Alan isn't wearing any pants is far from the weirdest thing. But when Phil has to ask him multiple times to put pants on, it could either be due to the madness of the mess they are in or Alan's oblivious nature.

14 "Hey, Guys, When's The Next Halley's Comet?"

Alan

It's hard to imagine how different the movie would have been if Galifianakis weren't cast as Alan. Galifianakis delivers great lines and brings such an odd quality to the movie as The Hangover's funniest character. Alan is certainly responsible for some of the movie's funniest moments that seem to come out of nowhere. Even during this wild adventure, Alan can suddenly be thinking of something random that he feels the need to share with everyone else. His questions about Halley's Comet and worries that he might be missing it that very night are met with stunned silence by the others.

13 "And We're The Three Best Friends That Anyone Could Have!"

Alan

Alan's need to become best friends with the rest of the men doesn't end at the toast. Even as they face one terrible situation after another, Alan seems to take these as an opportunity to cement these new friendships with Stu and Phil. After finally getting some good luck and seemingly going to get Doug back, the three men start celebrating. However, Alan obliviously ruins the moment by launching into a child-like song about how they are best friends, which makes the others very uncomfortable.

12 "What Do Tigers Dream Of When They Take A Little Tiger Snooze?"

Stu

This one is a lyric more than it is a quote, but it is one of the funniest parts of The Hangover nonetheless. After Stu feeds Mike Tyson’s tiger a steak stuffed with roofies, the gang waits for the animal to pass out. While they wait, Stu breaks out into song while playing the piano singing, “What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze?” Stu’s lyrics are hysterical, talking about mauling zebras and Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit, but he then stops abruptly when he hears the tiger groan and pass out.

11 "This Isn't The Real Caesars Palace, Is It?"

Alan

One of the funniest quotes comes near the beginning of the movie when the gang checks into Caesars Palace. The group argues about having to share beds before Phil suggests they rent the villa, which is priced at a hefty $4,200 for the night. After Stu begrudgingly hands his credit card to the front desk agent, Alan asks, “This isn’t the real Caesars Palace, is it?” The front desk attendant is confused, so Alan clarifies, asking if Caesar lived at the hotel. It’s a memorable quote and something that people who work at Caesars Palace probably get sick of hearing.

10 "It's At The Corner Of Get A Map And F*** Off."

Dr. Valsh

A common collaborator in Phillips' movies is actor Matt Walsh. In The Hangover, Walsh plays Dr. Valsh, the doctor who came in contact with the group the night they were drugged. The hospital band on Phil’s wrist led them back to the hospital and the guys pay Dr. Valsh to give them information about the night before. After getting a clue about a chapel called The Best Little Chapel, Phil asks Dr. Valsh if he knows the address. Dr. Valsh casually responds, “I do. It’s at the corner of get a map and f*** off," which the guys certainly weren’t expecting or hoping to hear.

9 "He'll Be Fine. I Cracked A Window."

Phil

Finding a baby in their hotel closet was no doubt one of the most worrisome things the gang encountered after they woke up. They bring the baby along on their search for Doug, which leads them to The Best Little Chapel. In a rush, the gang starts to head into the chapel before realizing the baby is in the car. They have a brief argument about whether they can leave Carlos in there, to which Phil exclaims, “He’ll be fine. I cracked a window.” This is coming from the same man who wanted to leave the baby in the hotel room with a tiger locked in the bathroom...

8 "I Hate Godzilla! I Hate Him Too!"

Alan

Not only does the Wolfpack find a baby in their hotel room, but they also find an Asian man in the trunk of Doug’s car. Driving back towards the Strip, they hear a knocking coming from the trunk. Thinking it's Doug, they pull over to investigate, but to their surprise, a nude man, Mr. Chow, pops out. Mr. Chow plays a larger role later in The Hangover sequels, but in this scene, he uses a crowbar to beat up the gang. Attempting to reason with Mr. Chow, Alan says this quote. His remarks clearly didn’t put Mr. Chow at ease, who throws the crowbar at Alan and runs off.

7 "Tigers Love Pepper. They Hate Cinnamon."

Alan

One of the bigger mistakes the gang makes is stealing a tiger from heavyweight champion Mike Tyson. Stealing and attempting to handle a fully grown white tiger is dangerous enough, but angering Tyson could be worse. When the gang is trying to return the tiger to Mr. Tyson, they decide to load some roofies inside a steak, which Alan sprinkles with pepper. Stu asks Alan why he is peppering the steak, to which Alan responds, “Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.” Obviously, there isn’t any scientific proof to back up his statement, but it’s funny nonetheless.

6 "I Look Like A Nerdy Hillbilly!"

Stu

Each member of the gang was negatively affected by Alan drugging them, but Stu arguably got the worst of it. As the most uptight of The Hangover characters, he doesn't take it well. Stu not only got hitched while he was under the influence, but he also lost a tooth. When Stu wakes up and looks in a mirror, he utters, “I look like a nerdy hillbilly." To make matters worse, he eventually finds out that he bet Alan he could pull out his own tooth to prove how good of a dentist he was.

5 "Hey Guys, You Ready To Let The Dogs Out?"

Alan

To most people, Alan’s fashion sense isn’t the greatest. When the guys go out for the first night, Stu, Doug, and Phil are all wearing suits, while Alan is wearing a shirt that’s a tad too small, white pants, and a man purse (a satchel). When we first see his outfit, Alan appears out of nowhere behind the guys and says, “Hey guys, you ready to let the dogs out?” Since Alan said it with such a straight face (and even did a little footwork when he sang a verse from the Baha Men song), the quote stuck out as one of the best in the film. Of course, this leads to the song being featured in The Hangover to great effect.

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4 "You Are Literally Too Stupid To Insult."

Stu

Of the entire Wolfpack, Stu gets along with Alan the least, and it makes sense. After all, Alan’s actions caused Stu to lose a tooth and marry a woman he doesn't know. When Phil, Stu, and Alan are on their way back to their hotel room, they remember they still have to deal with the tiger that is in their bathroom. Phil rhetorically asks how the tiger got in the bathroom, and Stu sarcastically tells Alan he didn’t know because he can’t remember. Alan proceeds to explain to Stu that that is a side effect of roofies to which Stu hilariously responds, “You are literally too stupid to insult.”

3 "He's Like A Gremlin. Comes With Instructions And S***."

Phil

​​​It’s clear from the beginning that Stu, Phil, and Doug don’t really want Alan to tag along on their trip to Vegas, but Doug is too nice of a guy to tell his bride-to-be no. When Doug is talking about Alan with Phil, he mentions that Tracy doesn’t want her brother to drink too much or gamble at all. Clearly, those are the two things people love to do in Vegas, but viewers of course find out why Alan shouldn’t do either. When reacting to Doug, Phil comments, “Jesus, he’s like a Gremlin. Comes with instructions and s***.” Certainly, Alan isn't quite as cute and fun as Gizmo.

2 "What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas."

Sid

The phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." started long before The Hangover came out in 2009, but the movie managed to put a funny twist on the saying. Before the gang leaves for Vegas, Doug’s father-in-law tosses him the keys to his Mercedes-Benz 220SE and says, “Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Doug nervously laughs and then Sid continues, “Except for herpes. That s*** will come back with you.” Obviously, STIs are no laughing matter, but the way the line was delivered was unexpected and hilarious.

1 "Hey! There Are Skittles In There!"

Alan

Alan’s funniest Hangover quote comes during the guys’ encounter with Mr. Chow. After Chow escaped from the trunk, he went back to his people to track down the Wolfpack. Mr. Chow’s SUV unexpectedly crashes into Doug’s car, and Mr. Chow’s thugs drag the guys out of the vehicle. Mr. Chow is looking for his purse (which contains $80,000) but gets his hands on Alan’s almost empty one instead. Chow throws it on the ground and Alan exclaims, “There are Skittles in there!” The entire scene is basically funny because of the way Mr. Chow makes fun of Alan, but this is one of the best lines from the scene.

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  The Hangover

  Summary:

  Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night and the bachelor missing. They make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding.

  Release Date:

  2009-06-05

  Budget:

  $35 million

  Cast:

  Ed Helms, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha, Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Jeffrey Tambor

  Director:

  Todd Phillips

  Genres:

  Comedy

  Runtime:

  100 minutes

  Writers:

  Scott Moore, Jon Lucas

  Studio(s):

  Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures, Green Hat Films, BenderSpink

  Distributor(s):

  Warner Bros. Pictures

  Sequel(s):

  The Hangover Part II, The Hangover Part III

  Franchise(s):

  The Hangover